Why Do I Really Have Mom Guilt? An Invitation.

I returned to work after my daughter started preschool because of financial reasons and because I had been going a little crazy being at home with her.  Don’t get me wrong, I cherish that year that I spent home with her.  I learned so much about her and about myself.  One of the biggest things that I learned about myself was that I just am not suited to being a stay at home mom.  Now that I’m back at work though, I realize that having a 9 to 5 isn’t what I want and an invitation made me realize it.

Why do I really have mom guilt? An invitation.

Now that Addie is in school I feel like she’s got all kinds of events that I’m being invited to.  First there was her class Halloween Party, her class Thanksgiving Party and her Christmas Concert.  All of these I was able to easily attend thanks to the fact that I work one minute from where she goes to school.  Nothing made me happier than to show up at her school and see her excited face when she saw me there.  Then I received her class Christmas Party invitation.

As I read through the invitation for the supply list I would have to send her to school with I was excited for another party.  Then I reached the day and date and my heart sank.  My job is pretty flexible and I’m able to easily pop over to these little parties and return in an hour, all except for one day during the week.  Wednesdays are the day that I’m out and about at the local businesses and it always has to be done between 9:30 and 11 am.  So you can guess what day and time her class party was scheduled on.  My mind immediately went to, “Mom Guilt” mode.

Have you ever asked yourself the question,

I’ve had twinges of mom guilt since I returned to work but nothing major.  There was just something about this one thing that nearly knocked me to my knees.  That’s when I realized why I really have mom guilt.  I have mom guilt because I want to be able to provide for my family financially while still having the freedom to be there for my daughter whenever it is necessary.  I have mom guilt because I realize that I need to work so that I have an outlet outside of being a mom.  I have mom guilt because we need me to work for financial reasons.

Related Post: Why I’m Returning To Work and How I’m Handling The Mom Guilt

All of these things boiled down to this.  What I really want out of life and out of motherhood is a career that provides me fulfillment and an outlet to express myself while providing for us financially.  That career must also not impede with my parenting duties in terms of being able to be there for my daughter’s many events, appointments and any other moment she or I deem important for me to be there.  I need and want to be present and available for these events in my daughter’s life.

I realize that there will be many other class parties and that one, in the big scheme of things, probably isn’t going to matter.  Right now, it matters to me, though. Understanding where my mom guilt was really coming from has helped me to build a plan that will give me all of the things I listed above.  I don’t mind being a working mom, I mind settling as a working mom.

Can you relate to this subject?  I’d love to hear the answer to the question: Why do I really have mom guilt?

Have you ever asked yourself the question,

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18 thoughts on “Why Do I Really Have Mom Guilt? An Invitation.

  1. I loved this! I had my moments where I felt like I wasn’t suited to be a SAHM. I think it was because I was so caught up into being the perfect mom that I sacrificed a lot and continuously put my toddler before me. I had to stop allowing my toddler to run the day and create some sort of productive agenda where both of us will be able to do things we enjoy. We’re still a work in progress, but things are much better now.

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  2. I think it is so admirable and courageous of you to share this! Some people don’t think this is a real thing but it is!

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    1. Thank you! I’ve learned over this past year that it doesn’t do anyone any favors to pretend like things like this aren’t thought about. It’s okay to feel this way and to have this internal struggle within yourself. At the end of the day if you are happy it will result in a happy family.

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  3. I think mom guilt exists all the time, for working and stay-at-home moms alike. The grass is always greener! But no matter what, the kids will be alright and one day in the future they will know that you did what you thought was best for them. It’s just hard in each moment sometimes. Solidarity, momma!

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    1. Thanks Cristin! My daughter was upset in the morning but by that evening she was so excited to tell me about the party. I’m still sad that I missed it and will work my butt off so I don’t have to but I know that in the long run, it won’t shape her happiness. As long as she has a happy home and feels loved. 🙂

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  4. I have the same issue with Tuesdays myself! For some reason they plan most of their class trips and activities that require volunteers on that day and it’s my meeting day so there is no flexibility. I can completely relate. Thanks for sharing!

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    1. Thanks for stopping by and reading! It makes it tough when you feel like you’re the only one. I think that was my big thing too. I was so worried that she was going to be the only child without a family member there. Luckily she has an amazing teacher and my daughter had a wonderful time. It still makes it hard though. 🙂

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  5. I have “Mom Guilt” because I want to be “THAT” mommy, the one that can work, be at events, and hand make teacher gifts. I have this because instead of being good enough I am trying to be perfect.

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    1. Oh I feel you there. I think that’s the underlying cause of mom guilt right? We’ve been led to believe that we have to be the perfect mom and when we don’t reach that unattainable feat we beat ourselves up for it. Thanks so much for reading and sharing. xo

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  6. so true, i work full time and had to go back when my daughter was 10 weeks old. i felt so guilty and i still do now. She turned one a month ago but i have missed several class paintings or family meet ups due to my work schedule and every single time my heart sinks when i can’t make them. My husband keeps saying its okay but for me i think about how happy she is when i come and i can’t imagine the other parents being around their kids and painting while mine has to paint with her teachers. I totally understand how you feel, hopefully we can have careers that don’t come between our parenting duties and life.!!!!

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    1. I agree! I’m lucky that for the most part my job doesn’t interfere too much but there is the occasional event and my daughter is always so sad when I say I can’t pick her up from school. God Bless you I had a hard enough time leaving my daughter at 12 weeks. Anything less than that I don’t know If I could have handled. Thank you for stopping by! ❤

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